The Loneliest iPad In The World

Let me tell you the tale of the loneliest iPad in the world. As most things do in our household it starts with my wife, the uber tiger mom. She has been adamant that our children not be corrupted by the evil influences of electronic gaming devices. She still curses the day Steve Jobs invented these blasted things.

However it is impossible to hold back a tidal wave on your own. All our children's friends own iPads. All her friends own iPads. Our elementary school is going to start integrating iPads into the curriculum. She could see that she was fighting a losing battle. The final straw was when I upgraded to an iPhone 5 and AT&T offered $100 off any iPad as part of a Black Friday sale. That discount finally got her to consent to getting one. But she did make one cardinal rule that I had to abide by before we could buy it: NO GAMES. No exceptions. Also the iPad will technically be her Christmas present, not the children's. This way she had final say over who used it and what apps can be downloaded. I said sure. Whatever. I was finally getting an iPad!

Fast forward to Christmas morning. The children had already ripped through all the presents until there was only one unopened box left, my wife's. When she finally pulled the wraps off the iPad the kids went wild. They quickly forgot their other presents and wanted to play with the forbidden fruit. As they dived eagerly into the iPad, they were soon met with disappointment. No games. No Angry Bird. No Temple Run. Nothing. Nada. My wife directed them to some Internet based educational programs that they had already been using on the home computer. They quickly lost interest and went back to their new Legos.

My wife also had an ulterior motive to buy an iPad besides making our children learn Internet multiplication tables on the go. She was hoping to use it to watch her Chinese and Korean soap operas without beging stuck in front of the computer. However she discovered that most of these Asian websites use Flash to stream videos. She found out that iPads don't run Flash. Now her only reason for using an iPad no longer exists.

So here we are, a week after Christmas. While iPads are being adored and loved by millions around the globe, ours sits forlornly in the closet. The children have not asked for it despite tiger mom's best efforts to use it as an incentive for behaving properly. She doesn't want it because she can't watch her soaps with it. I have no need for it because I'm not supposed to download the really interesting apps that I want. I already have an Android tablet for my tablet needs. That is how our iPad became the loneliest one in the whole world.