My Asian Privilege

There's been a lot of talk lately about white privilege. However, race privilege is not confined to white people alone. While minorities like to bemoan their lack of white privilege they too have qualities that only white people can dream of. Here is a list of my Asian privileges that makes me superior to white people.

Asians are rarely suspected of being criminals. When I go to L.A. International Airport, I am usually allowed to breeze my car right by the security stand at the entrance to the facility. I have never been asked to drive to the side to open the trunk of the car. Passing through the TSA is also effortless. Though we have to remove our belts and shoes like everybody else, the TSA agents couldn't be more bored when they see an Chinese-American family walk through. East Asians couldn't possibly be terrorists, right?

We Asians are also very unthreatening. When I walk down the sidewalk at night, no woman is clutching her purse tighter to her body. No one is turning around to see if I am following them. The police car cruises by without giving me a second look. At the mall, no security guard or camera is focusing his attention on me as I browse through the shops. In essence I turn into the tall blond white guy with the preppy shirt and chino pants that couldn't possibly be out ready to commit a crime.

When I walk into a room, people instinctively assume that I am smart. While some Asian Americans consider this an offensive stereotype, I personally consider it a compliment. I would rather strangers think I am smart than not.

Yet, Asian Americans are also frequently mistaken for being illiterate in English, even if we have advanced postgraduate degrees from Ivy League universities. While that may not sound like a privilege, one can use that ignorance to his best advantage. When I get phone calls during dinner time trying to sell me something or asking me to vote for a certain candidate for the next election, just for fun I just start talking in Chinese and pretend I don't know what the caller is trying to say. This usually results in an awkward silence on the other end then a quick dial tone. Ha, the joke is on them.

Asian Americans are also privileged to know where the best ethnic restaurants in town are. Through a tight network of Chinese American friends, the best Chinese restaurants are frequently discovered and the information propagated. This informal structure can't even be replicated on rating sites like Yelp. In the meantime, white people think the best Chinese restaurant in town is the local P.F. Chang, or worse, Panda Express.

Most of us Chinese Americans are shorter than the average white American. While this may not sound like a privilege, it does produce certain advantages. In an airplane's ever tighter seating arrangements, I can still sit in my seat without bumping my knees up against the back of the chair in front of me. I can also lower the tray table without having to suck in my gut, not that I have one since Asians are all thin anyway, correct? At the movie theater I don't have to worry about squeezing down the rows of seats or accidentally bumping the one in front of me with my giant boats for feet. I can even comfortably cross my legs without hitting my foot or knee on the person's head in front.

Finally, Asians always look young for their ages. In a country where youth is so highly prized and billions of dollars are spent on drugs and surgery to look younger, my naturally youthful skin tone is a major privilege. Asians are infamous for looking years, sometimes decades, younger than their real ages. Asian women can be deceivingly girlish looking, especially in the eyes of other races.

So there you have my list of some of the privileges Asians enjoy over other races. Why should privilege be the domain of white people alone? Every race has its advantages and disadvantages. If white people want to trumpet theirs, we can certainly publicize ours. We should be proud and proclaim loudly we are the smartest, youngest looking, safest race in America. That's a privilege we should never apologize for.

Is Being Racist The Worst Crime In America?

Poor Donald Sterling. The owner of the LA Clippers was banned for life from being involved in the NBA after being recorded making racist comments to his girlfriend. Now he is trying to sue the league to retain ownership of his team. Unfortunately for him, it appears that no major law firm is willing to attach itself to this controversy.

Has being a racist in America become so toxic that not even a billionaire with nearly endless resources can find legal representation? While being a racist itself is not a crime, apparently having been stigmatized as one is worse than almost any other atrocity. None of the law firms wanted to be tainted with defending a racist as it might upset their African American and corporate clients.

For instance, murderers almost always get some sort of legal assistance in the courts, unless the accused refuses any. OJ Simpson had A-list celebrity lawyers on his side of the court bench for years during his trial. Music producer Phil Specter also didn't have any trouble finding an attorney to defend him in his murder trial. Seems like none of these lawyers were afraid of how these cases might have affected their reputations with white clients or musicians.

Confessed drug use is also not a crime so heinous that people can lose their jobs. Both Presidents Clinton and Obama have confessed to smoking marijuana during their youths yet they were elected to the highest public office in the country. Most infamously, former Washington, D.C. mayor Marion Barry was convicted of using crack cocaine yet is still working in public office on the Washington City Council.

Child molestation, like racism, is also highly frowned upon in this country. However that didn't prevent one of the most famous child molesters of all time, Roman Polanski, from winning an Academy Award for Best Director in a vote by his directing peers.

What about infidelity? Everybody's doing it so it can't be that bad, can it?

Even 9/11 terrorist suspects can find lawyers to defend them in court.

Being a racist in America is so bad that Shelly Sterling would rather have people think her husband is demented than to consider him a bigot.

So yes, being outed as a racist in this country is probably the worst thing that can befall an individual. Unless it is being called a right wing conservative. Then you don't even get a voice in public at all.