My son hates his last name. He is always complaining about other kids in school teasing him about it. He has already asked me when he can change his name. I told him once he turns eighteen he can do whatever he wants. Until then, he is going to have the same last name as me, end of discussion.
Unfortunately, my son's complaints painfully reminds me of my experiences in school with other kids. Whenever I am asked my name, I inevitably have to say it twice, along with spelling it out so people can at least grasp how it's supposed to be pronounced. Over the years I've learned to live with this ritual. But inevitably some white American will think he's clever and make an unfunny pun with my name, as if that he was the first one to think of it. Sorry sir, but at least a thousand people have already told me the same lame joke already so forgive me if I don't laugh.
Asian names are notoriously difficult for English speaking people to comprehend. "Why is Nguyen pronounced as 'Win'?" We once had two Chinese coworkers at my workplace. Their names were spelled "He" and "She". Though they look nothing alike, different age, different height, people were always getting them mixed up. Would Americans have mixed up two white people named "Johnson" and "Johnston"? Somehow Asian names seem to be the perfect set up for bad puns by white people. Think of how many jokes you have heard in the media regarding names like "Wong" or "Chin". And don't even get me started on names that sound like English slang for genitalia. "Long Duk Dong" anybody? Yes I do know a real Chinese person with the last name of Dong so don't think that was a purely fictional name they put into the movie "Sixteen Candles".
I didn't realize how much our family's last name bothered us until one day I heard my father complaining about it. He was irritated by the rudeness of total strangers whom he just met who feel they can make a joke out of our name. While people may just be trying to lighten the mood by saying a joke, I would never think of joking about somebody named "Dick" or having fun with a black person named "White" or a white person named "Black". But with Asian names people don't seem to have the same restraint.
There have been many times while growing up that I wished I could have an easily pronounceable and spelled last name. Why couldn't my name have been Wilson? Or Smith? Jones, Brown, Williams will all do. These names imply AMERICAN. There is no stupid pun that people will think to bring up. They suggest a long glorious history of living in the United States. Nobody would ask me to repeat my name again because they didn't think they heard it right the first time.
So all I can tell you my son is that I too had to live through a lifelong dread of having to say my name to strangers, whether at school or at work. Just expect some wise guy will try to make a joke about it. Laugh if you're feeling generous. Ignore it and move on if you don't. Try not to make a big fuss about it because the joker usually isn't saying it out of malevolence. And once you are of legal age, I will understand if you want to change your surname to "Anderson". But I think by then you will have learned to be proud of your name and your heritage like I have and pass it along to your children. Then you can give them the same advice I'm giving you, "You can do whatever you want when you turn 18."
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