Learning English With A Five Year Old. Life Imitates Art

Reading bedtimes stories is one of my favorite activities as a Dad. It's amazing to watch him learn new words at such a rapid pace. Seems like just yesterday he was still trying to remember his ABC's. Now he can read many of the Dr. Seuss books that he received from his older sister.

While he has mastered many monosyllabic words, he is facing some frustrations with the intricacies of English language. As anybody who has tried to learn English knows, our language is not the easiest one to comprehend, with all sorts of rules of pronunciation that defy all manners of logic. Like the classic "I Love Lucy" clip above, these illogical practices can drive one to tears.

For instance, while reading one of his books tonight, he came across several words that look like they should be pronounced the same, but are in fact, quite different. The words were "here", "there", and "where." All end in "ere" yet each one is supposed to be said in a distinct way. It got to the point where he hesistated before speaking such seemingly innocent looking words. I won't even go into how the word "ere" itself is supposed to be spoken lest it causes the reader to descend to madness.

Another one where he got stumped was "know" and "now." With one change in letter, the two words are suddenly pronounced entiredly unalike. How is this possible? How can one language not have consistent rules for its words? It's probably due to the melting pot nature of American society that we have so many ways of speaking similar words. Every new immigrant brought with him his native language which eventually got incorporated into our language. Unfortunately this also included the pronunciations of the native language as well. So now we have a polyglot of ways to say similar words.

My son can sympathize with Ricky Ricardo's angst. Ricky notes that Spanish is very easy to learn, with the same rules applying to all words. Unfortunately for American English learners, we don't have the luxury of such a pure uncontaminated language. Ours has been stirred through the melting pot of our wider culture. It is now a test of endurance and brain power to correctly decipher our English. This is a great way to make sure only smart people can migrate to the U.S. and become productive citizens.