Sunday, April 28, 2013

Signs You Were Raised In An Asian Immigrant Household

I LOVE this list from Buzzfeed. It is 27 signs you were raised in an Asian immigrant home. When somebody emailed me this list, I almost rolled on the floor laughing. It is hilarious because it is so true. I could compare myself to nearly all of them. It's funny that growing up, I never noticed the quirks of being an Asian American. Now this list shows me that I am not the only one who does things differently from other Americans.

Right away, at #3, is something my wife does religiously. You can see at the 99 Ranch Market all the lao tai tai's pounding away at the melons. Whether they be watermelons, cantaloupes, or honeydews, everybody thinks they know the perfect sound to hear when the fruit is perfectly ripe. My wife has tried to teach me the proper technique but I have never got the hang of differeniating between a dull thud vs. a slightly hollow thump. Thus I never buy melons at the market by myself. I hate being chastised for not picking the perfect fruit.

At #4 is a tradition that I found strange when I first met my wife. Since I am a 1 1/2 generation Asian American, I grew up drinking cold sodas and water with my meals. My wife, who moved here when she was already an adult, swore she gets severe stomach cramps if she doesn't drink warm water. Now that she's lived here for nearly two decades she's not as fervent about hot water as before. But if she gets even a little crampy after a meal, she'll blame first any cold food or drinks she's consumed.

Number 9 is so funny and true. Asians always think it's cold outside. My dad used to wear long sleeve shirts outside even though it may be in the 90's and 90% humidity in the Midwest where I grew up. He didn't mind buying cars with no air conditioning since he hates being cold even though the rest of us in the car were dying of heat exhaustion. My wife always have our kids wear jackets outside even though all the other children have on t-shirts and shorts. Because you know it is an Asian fact that you will catch a cold if your arms and legs are not covered up.

If you want to know what it is like to live in an Asian home, please read this list. I can confirm that we hardly have any plates in the house, our TV remote control is wrapped in cellophane, and our dishwasher is always full but is never turned on. I guess the Asian culture runs pretty strong in all of us.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Running While Arab

The Boston Marathon bombings are horrendous reminders of the vulnerabilities our country still faces. It is all too easy for people with nefarious motives to cause tragedies both big and small. When the two bombs went off, people immediately flashed back to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. So naturally, who was the first suspect to be questioned by the FBI? A Saudi citizen, of course.

When the bombs went off, thousands of people began running away. One of them was a Saudi Arabian student here in Boston to study. Even though this would be considered a normal reaction by anybody, some witness thought his running seemed suspicious. He tackled the student and held him until law enforcement could collect him. The student himself was injured by the bombs and was taken to a hospital for treatment. The FBI continued questioning him in his hospital bed and even searched his apartment. They finally concluded that he is not a terrorist suspect.

It's sad that Americans are still so xenophobic that we suspect anybody who is not white as a criminal. After the Oklahoma City bombing, people immediately thought it too was caused by Middle East terrorists. I thought at the time that it would be extremely strange for international terrorists to travel all the way to Oklahoma City to cause mayhem. Surely there are better targets in more cosmopolitan cities. And of course the culprits turned out to be a couple of white dudes who decided they didn't like their government and bought a few hundred pounds of fertilizer to make a bomb.

So before we start hating on people of Middle Eastern descent, let's take a deep breath and just wait for further findings from the FBI. We don't need any more racist vigilantes blaming innocent Arab students and causing a black eye in our fraught relationship with the Mideast countries.